[title subtitle=”Images: courtesy Henry Udouj Sr. and Ronald McDonald Family Room, Fort Smith”][/title]
On October 1, Henry and Linda Udouj Sr., and Henry and Melissa Udouj Jr., will be given the 2016 Lily Award at the Red Shoe Shindig, held at Hardscrabble Country Club, in Fort Smith, Arkansas. The Lily Award is named in memory of Lillian Paige Pruitt, the infant daughter of Susan and Clay Pruitt. The award honors a person or group whose work has touched those who stay in the Ronald McDonald Family Room. Housed inside Mercy Hospital, the Family Room provides food and lodging for families of ill or injured children, so that the families can remain close and find the respite they need.
The Udouj family was chosen because of the impact they have on children every day, their positive attitude, and their selflessness. We caught up with the Udouj family to find out more about them, and their contributions to the Ronald McDonald Family Room.
(Henry and Melissa Udouj)
How did you feel when you learned you’d received the 2016 Lily Award?
Completely surprised and humbled! We think so much of the Pruitt family and all they do. To be given this award which honors their daughter, Lily, is priceless.
Tell us a little about your family.
I (Henry) grew up in Fort Smith. Melissa grew up just down the road in Paris. We met while living in Dallas. After I had spent several years in school, we moved back, and I went into business with my dad at Udouj Orthodontics. We have two children. Isabella is a sophomore at Southside High School. Joseph is in sixth grade at Immaculate Conception School.
How long have you been involved with the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Mercy Hospital in Fort Smith?
We were so excited to be involved from the beginning, six years ago this December, with the Family Room at Mercy. Our first experience with the Ronald McDonald Charities was nine years ago when our son Joseph had surgery in New York. We stayed at the Ronald McDonald House of Long Island and returned the following year for a second surgery. It’s hard to explain how much the House, the volunteers, patients, and families meant to us. Since we were so far from home, it was our haven. We left there knowing if there was ever a chance to be involved in this great charity that had done so much for us in a difficult time, that we wanted to give and do as much as we could.
Tell us more about your son, Joseph.
When Joseph was two years old, he was diagnosed with Chiari Type I Malformation and Tethered Cord Syndrome. After much research, we landed at The Chiari Institute on Long Island. He had his first surgery to de-tether his spinal cord in January 2007. It was a success, but after continued testing the doctors recommended Chiari malformation surgery (brain surgery). The only thing that made that news bearable was the hope that we could go back to our home away from home at the Ronald McDonald House. In January of 2008, we returned to Long Island for the second surgery.
We know Joseph has a great story about the Ronald McDonald House, can you share it with us?
We arrived about four days before Joseph’s first surgery for testing, so he got to stay with us at the House for several days. Joseph was only two and had a very limited vocabulary—about ten words. Each time we’d come and go, Joseph would point to the empty high ceiling of the entryway, look up and say, “Baby Jesus.” After he had done this about eight times, Henry said, “I have no doubt that Joseph sees Jesus, and He’s living in the entryway of this House!” So we’ve always said that we believe Jesus lives in the entry of each of the special Houses and Family Rooms.
(Henry and Linda Udouj)
From your perspective, what’s it like to have a grandchild who is sick?
Having a sick child is one of, if not THE most devastating experience a parent can live through. But somehow, you “buck up” and tackle it one day at a time. It’s a 24-7 type of thing that you learn to live with, and with the grace of God, make it through. It may not be the life you expected, but it is your new life, and you adjust. That’s a parent. A grandparent is a whole other species. Grandparents love with no boundaries and feel we should have no boundaries, whether the parents like it or not. Melissa’s mom, Sue Lloyd, of Paris, Arkansas, and I (Linda) had small conversations about our misgivings with the development of our precious grandson, Joseph. We held our tongues and prayed we were wrong. Unfortunately, we weren’t. I think I can speak for Sue and Roy Lloyd as well as Henry and myself when I say the feeling of helplessness and heartbreaking love for Joseph as well as his parents and sister, Isabella, is beyond mere words. Grandchildren are the parents’ “second chance to do it right.” We don’t care if the grandchild tracks mud on the new carpet, spills jelly on the new sofa, or takes hour-long showers with our expensive bath products. It’s a love only other grandparents understand, as well as a heartbreak only other grandparents understand. The hardest part is trying to be strong and be of support the only way we know: to be on-hand when needed and to PRAY with every ounce of our strength and learn to live the new life.
(Henry and Melissa Udouj)
What do you think it means for families to have a place like this?
Most of the families have children in the NICU. How incredible that they can ride an elevator to the next floor and have a place to eat, rest and just regroup! The Family Room gives these families the support they need during a very difficult time.
What do you think is the most impressive thing about the Family Room at Mercy Hospital in Fort Smith?
I’ll never forget the first time we saw it! It looks like something straight off of HGTV! I think families feel pampered there. I am quick to say that our family feels like the most important part of the Family Room is the nighttime meal. Volunteers bring a meal for the families to enjoy and share. Nothing compares to sitting around a table sharing a meal with complete strangers, but feeling so connected because you’re going through the same hard times.
How can we help the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Mercy Hospital?
They always need volunteers and wish list items. Of course, we’re going to push the Share a Meal! We encourage you to sign up to help. Get a group of friends to take meals once a month. Have your Sunday school class take it on as a mission. Our family was so blessed by that meal every night. Last but not least, sponsorships and donations are always welcome! Please come out and support our one fundraiser for the year, the Red Shoe Shindig!
The Red Shoe Shindig “A Night in Oz” takes place on October 1 at Hardscrabble Country Club, and benefits the Family Room at Mercy Hospital. When you attend, be sure to stop by the Do South Red Shoe Lounge for a specialty cocktail. For details and tickets, visit rmhcofarkoma.org.
For volunteer opportunities, to provide a meal or a wish list item, please contact the Ronald McDonald Family Room at 479.314.8030, or emma@rmhcofarkoma.org.
