Hero in a Hospital Gown – The James Beaver Story

Dec 1, 2015 | People

[title subtitle=”words: Marla Cantrell
Images: courtesy James Beaver and Amber Alder”][/title]

When you’re a policeman, you see things most people don’t. Nobody calls an officer when things are dancing along. And so James Beaver, a resident of Modesto, California, and a former member of the nearby Gustine Police Department, knew what it was like to arrive in the aftermath of trouble. The wrecked car, the woman assaulted by someone who claimed to love her, the house that had been turned into a drug den. He’d seen it all.

 

But he also knew something all good officers know. If you go to work with good intentions, you’ll likely be able to make someone’s dreadful day just a little bit better. And James, now thirty years old, tries to live a generous life.

 

In early 2012, while at a mall near his home, he saw a booth set up. The banner read: Be the Match®. The organization helps those with blood cancers like leukemia and lymphoma find the right person to give them the bone marrow donation they need to survive. James signed up on the spot.

 

Seventy percent of those in need of a transplant don’t have a match in their family, so without donors these patients lose hope. What occurs once the bone marrow transplant takes place is miraculous. The donor’s healthy blood-forming cells enter the patient’s bloodstream, where they begin to grow and make healthy red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets. Patients receive the transfusion through an IV.

 

Nothing happened for a year and a half. And then, in the waning months of 2013, Be the Match® called to let James know he and a few others on the registry were possible matches. There was an eight-year-old boy fighting Acute Myeloid Leukemia for the second time. Because of privacy issues, James was not told that the boy was Aiden Alder, who lived in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and whose worsening condition had an entire community united in prayer.

 

At that point, James says he was given the choice to continue on by having more blood tests or opt out. He didn’t hesitate. He was a father by then, and his heart broke for Aiden. “I remember thinking if that were my child, I’d be praying every day that there would be a match and someone would be willing to do exactly what I was doing,” James says.

 

Three weeks later, he got a second call. He was one of the best matches. He was asked again if he wanted to continue. When he said yes, they described the donation process, told him he could be out of work for about a week, and assured him any out-of-pocket expenses he incurred would be covered.

 

In early 2014, he traveled to Stanford Medical Center and went through a full workup to make sure he was healthy enough to proceed. James, who stands six feet tall, is in great shape, doing everything from hunting to hiking to surfing to snowboarding. When he passed this hurdle, they discussed the best way to extract the bone marrow, using factors like Aiden’s age, and decided to take it from James’ pelvic bone. They would drill four holes, about the size of a pencil eraser, to access the bone marrow.

 

While James prepared for the procedure in February, Aiden’s mother, Amber Alder, was knee-deep in gratitude. She had been fervently praying for a match. Her heart had been broken shortly after Aiden’s second diagnosis just before Halloween 2013, when her sweet, brave boy turned his face to the wall and said, “I don’t want to die.”

 

Ten days before the donation, Be the Match® called James again. “They said, ‘He’s going to have to go through a set of chemo to eradicate all of his bone marrow and it’s going to be extremely painful, and we want to be sure you’re one hundred percent certain.’ When you hear something like that,” James says, “you just want to jump in and do it as soon as you can. I just wanted him healthy again.”

 

While James prepared, Amber was with Aiden in Dallas, watching her son struggle from the effects of the chemotherapy James had been warned about. Ulcers formed in Aiden’s throat and mouth, and he was throwing up, the combination of these two things making his life excruciating.

 

James’ procedure took place in California and lasted two hours. He went home several hours later and was back to work in just four days. The bone marrow he’d donated was sent to Aiden, and once he’d been transfused, the waiting began.

 

In those days that followed, Amber sat down to write James a thank-you note, but found that words were not enough. Every time she tried to convey her immense gratefulness, she fell short. It took her sixteen attempts to say what was in her heart.

 

“At that point I still didn’t have Aiden’s name,” James says. “But I did learn more about him. I knew he liked to play outdoors and that he loved his little sister very much. I’d written him a letter, telling him about my life. About being a police officer and having a ten-month-old daughter. I sent him a police badge and belt.”

 

Life got busy after that and time moved on. Amber treasured every new day with Aiden, who was growing stronger every day. James changed jobs, leaving law enforcement, and he and his wife Joanna had another daughter.

 

In March 2015, James heard again from Be the Match®. “After one year of waiting, you’re able to sign a release, and then information, such as our names, can be exchanged with the donor. We didn’t hear back quickly, so we didn’t really know if Aiden and Amber wanted contact, or if maybe Be the Match® was just really busy.

 

“And then, in September, Amber emailed me. I didn’t respond for a couple of days. For one thing, it was an extremely busy time, but the other thing was that I just didn’t know what to say. She wrote me a very emotional and caring email. What do you say to that? Except that I’d do it all over again if I had to. I just put myself in her shoes and imagined someone saving my own child’s life.”

 

Since then, the two families have exchanged phone calls and emails. The next logical step seemed to be to meet in person. But the expenses for things like flights and rental cars and meals are a lot to bear, so James set up a Go Fund Me® account, hoping those who hear their story will want to help.

 

“I want to meet this young man who is now a part of me. I’m a part of him. Literally. Amber told me Aiden’s blood type is AB positive and it’s slowly changing to my blood type, which is A positive. That’s mind-blowing and special. I told her I wanted to apologize upfront in case he got even more ornery because he has my blood now,” James says, and then laughs.

 

The two families want to meet in Dallas, since Amber would be able to drive there, making the trip less expensive. They hope to spend two or three days getting to know each other. Already, the Dallas Zoo has offered them free admission, and the Dallas Stars hockey team wants them to come see a game for free.

 

“I just wanted to make this trip as carefree as possible. I didn’t want any financial burden to hinder it. I just want to be able to focus on creating an even greater connection between our two families. I want my kids to meet Aiden and his sister and for us to have pictures of that, because we have a lifelong bond.”

As James is telling his story, the sounds of his two-year-old daughter ring in the background. At one point, he hands her the phone and lets her say hello. His five-month-old daughter is nearby, his wife busy corralling them all, and he appreciates every minute of it.

 

He lives an hour and a half from the ocean, and an hour and a half from snow-covered mountains. He has a wife he adores, and a big, happy, extended family. His life is full and noisy and beautiful.

 

One of the best experiences he’s ever had was helping Aiden. If he could have one wish, it would be to encourage others to do what he did. “I’m a private person. I don’t even have a Facebook page,” he says. “But by telling my story, if just one person is convinced to sign up, and they’re able to save somebody’s life, it’s all worth it.”

 

No one would agree more than Aiden. He is ten years old now, almost constantly smiling, and so full of life it’s hard to imagine the path he walked to get here. And often, when he and his mom and his sister gather to say their prayers, the first person they mention is James.
For more on the bone marrow donation registry, visit bethematch.org.
To help Aiden and James meet, visit
Go Fund Me, Cancer Survivor Meets Marrow Match, gofundme.com/ay5eenve.

Do South Magazine

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