Handling Holiday Havoc

Remember being a kid and counting the days until the Thanksgiving break? Remember counting the hours until Christmas morning? Everything seemed simpler then. It may have helped that we weren’t asked to bake a turkey or decorate the entire house, or wrap packages so well they looked like works of art.

What if there was a way to get back the pure joy of the season? What if we could step away from our visions of the perfect holiday and simply enjoy our family and friends?

We sat down with local counselor Becca Whitson and asked her to tell us how we can slow down and enjoy these special times. 

DO SOUTH: 

BECCA:

Know It’s Coming.The holidays are known to be a stressful time for most people for lots of different reasons. It’s normal to feel pressure and stress this time of year, so don’t feel guilty about your feelings. The great thing is that with a little work, you can control the level of stress you experience and not settle for being overwhelmed.

Lower Your Expectations. When our holidays become a time of how things “should be” rather than how they really are, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. Do consistent “reality checks” with yourself or a trusted friend to remind yourself of what your life, family, etc. are really like and what you can expect for the holiday season. Let go of how it “should be.”

Eat Well. This is difficult when our counters are filled with cookies and pies, but it’s worth it. We can all splurge a little; life’s too short not to! But eating healthy foods and watching portion sizes makes a huge difference in our energy and clarity of mind.

Exercise. Even ten minutes a day of an elevated heart rate can do wonders for our energy level and mood. It’s worth the discipline it takes. One of the most important questions I ask when planning treatment for clients who struggle with depression is if they exercise regularly. If not, that immediately becomes part of the treatment plan. It’s that important. Do what works for you, even if it’s a ten-minute walk around the block to start.

Get Some Sleep. This is easier said than done for many people. When possible, though, getting enough quality sleep is key to managing stress. You may have to force yourself to turn off the laptop or TV, put away the phones and books, and go to bed. Set a bedtime alarm if you need to. Especially during times of stress or anxiety, sleep is a necessary healing agent for your body and mind.

Be Quiet. Do what works for you. I find prayer and Bible reading helpful. For others, this may be another type of meditation or mindfulness. Whatever the case, taking the time to be still and quiet, using deep breaths to calm your body, is a valuable way to manage stress.

Say No. When we give ourselves permission to say no, especially this time of year, we free ourselves up to actually enjoy the season. One practical way that’s made saying no easier for me is this: I rarely commit without talking to my husband first. When someone asks us to do something, I almost always say, “Let me talk to Matt and get back with you.” This gives us the chance to discuss it, look at our calendars, and decide what should take priority. When we are over-committed (and our “too busy” may look different than yours), we struggle in our marriage, we aren’t the parents we want to be, and our kids beg to “just stay home and play.” We’re not OK with that, so we do everything we can to simplify and not become busier than what is comfortable for us.

Consider taking these steps now, before the pressure is out-of-control. When we anticipate stressful times and utilize healthy coping skills in advance, we can regulate our stress levels and actually enjoy this time of year. Our families, friends, and co-workers will enjoy us a lot more as well!

Becca Whitson is a local counselor in private practice. She and her husband write about marriage, parenting, and life at WhitsonLife.com. To contact her, email becca@whitsonlife.com.